Tylenol jokes

A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."

Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.

The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Midixadrupin, Midixarizin or Dixafix.

I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...

I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.

Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...

Mom: Wake up!

Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...

Mom: Why are you disappointed?

Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...