Wordplay jokes
What’s impossible?
Steven Walkings.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
What sea creature can add up? A octoplus.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea.
Do you know Putin?
Put in these balls in your mouth.
What is Epstein's favorite piano chord?
A minor.
What's a suicidal person's favorite game?
Hangman.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
This name makes me want to close season instead of open it.
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
What do you call a lesbian vampire?
Cunt Dracula.
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.
Which country can swim?
Finland. Get it? Fin Land?