Chinese jokes
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)
Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"
Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."
Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"
Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"
Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."
Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"
Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."
Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"
Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"
Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."
Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"
What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?
Phill Ming.
Why doesn't China have a cricket team?
They always eat the bat.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?
Covid.
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?
Because they make the toys.
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
What do you call a rich Chinese man? Ching Ching.
What did the Chinese man say to his wife?
I'll chin you later.