Chinese Jokes

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)?as involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Lee (Sorry).

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu

That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they’ve seen your dog.

What has two wings and a halo?

A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?

I think I banged a Chinese celebrity… She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.

What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong

What do you call a rich Chinese man? Ching Ching

Why doesn’t China have a cricket team?

They always eat the bat

Every wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?

The made the toys

Why did the Chinese woman hang up?

Because she Wang the Wong number

When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked why was I playing with my food.

What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?

Boi Ling

Why cant two chinese people have a white baby ?

Because two wongs dont make a white

What is the most common crime in China?

Identity fraud

why dont Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?

Bc They make the toys

So I asked a Chinese woman for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight ." Her friend said “No, it’s 666-3629.”

what do you say to a fat Asian? you got more chins then a Chinese phone book

Q: How do Chinese people name their kids.

A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make

I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday A man picked up the phone and said: “Hello! I am wan kin the chef.” I said that I’ll come back later

What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?

Phill ming