Chinese

Chinese Jokes

Man

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."

Name

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"

Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."

Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"

Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"

Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."

Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"

Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."

Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"

Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"

Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."

Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"

Santa

Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?

They made the toys.

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  • Dog

    That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.

    Food

    Men: "I like dogs."

    Women: "I like cats."

    Chinese: "Food is food."

    Number

    Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.

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  • Chin

    What do you say to a fat Asian?

    You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

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  • Chef

    I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.

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  • Dwarf

    What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."