I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. – The odds were against me.
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the s out!
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
When I’m bored I text a random number “I hid the body… now what”
I can count the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand. – It’s seven.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.
And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help!” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”
The number 13? Not on my watch
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? – The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender
Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:
“And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith’s telephone number on the door of the girl’s toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4.”
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 ONEted TWO bring THREE knives FOUR surFIVEal, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hEIGHTed him, and didn’t have beNINE inTENtions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
19 and 20 had a fight. 21.
4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed. – 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? – Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was.
Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.
Why did 10 die? – He was in the middle of 9/11.
A Roman walks into a bar
He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”
8008135 is my favorite number. The worst ratio is 6:9. And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?’ Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six two.