Number jokes
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.
I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address, and my phone number.
When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
10 Fun Facts.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender.