# Number Jokes

## Place

What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?

Roamin’ Numerals.

## Fight

I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. -- The odds were against me.

## Even

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the s out!

## Chernobyl

I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.

## Guy

You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!

## Mathematician

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? -- The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

## Funny

And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster

## Doctor

A woman comes to the doctor and tells her ‘doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?’ The doctor says ‘my number’

## Body

When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"

## Fat

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! Thats not going to help!" She said. "Sure it does." he said. "Its the only way i can see the numbers."

## Mathematician

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.

## Time

The number 13? Not on my watch

## Knives

Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?

Because 7 ONEted TWO bring THREE knives FOUR surFIVEal, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hEIGHTed him, and didn’t have beNINE inTENtions.

Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)

## Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.

## Roman

A Roman walks into a bar

He holds up two fingers and says "give me five beers."

## Mathematician

4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed. -- 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects.

## Letter

I bet you \$12345678901234567890 that you didn’t read that number and you didn’t notice that a put a letter in it, no i didn’t but you went back and looked didn’t you.

## Seven

Why is six afraid of seven?

Seven is a registered six-offender

## Fight

19 and 20 had a fight. 21.

## Step

10 Fun Facts 1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breath through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 6. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 8. You skipped number 5. 9. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 10. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)