Number jokes
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
The number 13? Not on my watch!
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."
4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.
When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.
I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?
19 and 20 had a fight. 21.
10 Fun Facts.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender.