When I’m bored I text a random number “I hid the body… now what”

Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?

Because 7 ONEted TWO bring THREE knives FOUR surFIVEal, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hEIGHTed him, and didn’t have beNINE inTENtions.

Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the s out!

I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. – The odds were against me.

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. – I now have $999,999.75.

Why is six afraid of seven?

Seven is a registered six-offender

And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster

I can count the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand. – It’s seven.

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? – The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.

The number 13? Not on my watch

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help!” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”

Why did 10 die? – He was in the middle of 9/11.

19 and 20 had a fight. 21.

A Roman walks into a bar

He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”

You know what’s odd?

Every other number

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 was a 6 Offender

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? – Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was.

Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6? Because 511472.

What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?

Roamin’ Numerals.