When I’m bored I text a random number “I hid the body… now what”

Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?

Because 7 ONEted TWO bring THREE knives FOUR surFIVEal, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hEIGHTed him, and didn’t have beNINE inTENtions.

Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the s out!

And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster

I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. – The odds were against me.

19 and 20 had a fight. 21.

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.

The number 13? Not on my watch

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? – The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

I can count the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand. – It’s seven.

Why is six afraid of seven?

Seven is a registered six-offender

You know what’s odd?

Every other number

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? – Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was.

Why did 10 die? – He was in the middle of 9/11.

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help!” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”

Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6? Because 511472.

4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed. – 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects.

10 Fun Facts

  1. You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
  2. You can’t count your hair.
  3. You can’t breath through your nose with your tongue out.
  4. You just tried number 3.
  5. When you did number 3, you realized it’s possible, only you look like a dog.
  6. You’re smiling right now because you were fooled.
  7. You skipped number 5.
  8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5.
  9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. – I now have $999,999.75.

So I asked a Chinese woman for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight ." Her friend said “No, it’s 666-3629.”

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