Place

Daniel King

What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?

Roamin’ Numerals.

Fight

Anonymous

I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. – The odds were against me.

1

Make

crowbar

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the s out!

5

Boring

Anonymous

When I’m bored I text a random number “I hid the body… now what”

Hand

Anonymous

I can count the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand. – It’s seven.

5

Fat

Anonymous

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help!” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”

3

Mathematician

Anonymous

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? – The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

0

Funny

Anonymous

And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster

4

Mathematician

Anonymous

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.

2

School

Allan

Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:

“And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith’s telephone number on the door of the girl’s toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4.”

Puns

Haha I'm hilarious

Why is six afraid of seven?

Seven is a registered six-offender

Time

Anonymous

The number 13? Not on my watch

Secret

Anonymous

Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?

Because 7 ONEted TWO bring THREE knives FOUR surFIVEal, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hEIGHTed him, and didn’t have beNINE inTENtions.

Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)

Mathematician

Anonymous

4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed. – 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects.

3

Fight

Anonymous

19 and 20 had a fight. 21.

Guy

Anonymous

You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!

Chuck Norris

Anonymous

Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.

0

Finger

Anonymous

A Roman walks into a bar

He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”

6

Star Wars

Anonymous

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? – Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was.

4

Die

Anonymous

Why did 10 die? – He was in the middle of 9/11.