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Fight

Anonymous

I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. – The odds were against me.

Make

crowbar

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the s out!

Place

Daniel King

What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?

Roamin’ Numerals.

Boring

Anonymous

When I’m bored I text a random number “I hid the body… now what”

Hand

Anonymous

I can count the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand. – It’s seven.

Girl

Anonymous

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.

Life

Anonymous

And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster

Fat

Anonymous

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help!” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”

Time

Anonymous

The number 13? Not on my watch

Common

Anonymous

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? – The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

Puns

Haha I'm hilarious

Why is six afraid of seven?

Seven is a registered six-offender

Toilet

Allan

Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:

“And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith’s telephone number on the door of the girl’s toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4.”

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Make

Anonymous

Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?

Because 7 ONEted TWO bring THREE knives FOUR surFIVEal, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hEIGHTed him, and didn’t have beNINE inTENtions.

Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)

Fight

Anonymous

19 and 20 had a fight. 21.

Mathematician

Anonymous

4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed. – 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects.

Movie

Anonymous

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? – Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was.

Wrong

Anonymous

Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.

Die

Anonymous

Why did 10 die? – He was in the middle of 9/11.

Bar

Anonymous

A Roman walks into a bar

He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”

Last

M.A.T.H

8008135 is my favorite number. The worst ratio is 6:9. And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?’ Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six two.

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