When I’m bored I text a random number “I hid the body… now what”
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 ONEted TWO bring THREE knives FOUR surFIVEal, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hEIGHTed him, and didn’t have beNINE inTENtions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the s out!
And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. – The odds were against me.
19 and 20 had a fight. 21.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.
The number 13? Not on my watch
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? – The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
I can count the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand. – It’s seven.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender
You know what’s odd?
Every other number
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? – Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was.
Why did 10 die? – He was in the middle of 9/11.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help!” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6? Because 511472.
4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed. – 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects.
10 Fun Facts
- You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
- You can’t count your hair.
- You can’t breath through your nose with your tongue out.
- You just tried number 3.
- When you did number 3, you realized it’s possible, only you look like a dog.
- You’re smiling right now because you were fooled.
- You skipped number 5.
- You just checked to see if there is a number 5.
- Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. – I now have $999,999.75.
So I asked a Chinese woman for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight ." Her friend said “No, it’s 666-3629.”