What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
What do you call a group of emos?
What rock group has four men that don’t sing? – Mount Rushmore.
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy. But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
Why don’t mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says “No Trespassing”
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with “Hey girls, would you like some candy?” They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says “God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes”
I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit
You no your ugly when you git handed the cameras every time your frind’s have a group picture.
what do you get when you mix up a group of emos??
The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, “I got to have this guy. He’s got the best arm I’ve ever seen!”
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
“Mother,” he yells over the phone, “We just won the Super Bowl!”
“Don’t talk to me,” the woman says. “You abandoned us. You can’t be my son.”
The young Iraqi begs, “Mom, you don’t understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!”
“I don’t care,” his mother snaps. “Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped.”
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.
I joined the military for the group showers
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”.
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”.
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”.
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”?
Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
What do you call a group of masturbating cows? Beef stroganoff
symple: y did u include me in this fuckery? symple: and y the fuck am i the profile picture? angela: because u r the thot of the group. symple: well it takes one to know one. symple: arnt Thot jokes just ¨whore´able¨? angela: FUCK OFF!
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse’s pain to the father’s nervous system. He agrees and the doctors turn to dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
4 cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the 4 Cs Quartet since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine. They discovered how they could win. After a discussion they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
3 cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.
Cowboy 1 says ´´ I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands´´
Cowboy 2 says ´´ I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb´´
Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.