What do you call a group of emos?

Suicide Squad.

What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?

The Inbredibles.

What rock group has four men that don’t sing? – Mount Rushmore.

Why don’t mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says “No Trespassing”

Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with “Hey girls, would you like some candy?” They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says “God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes”

what do you get when you mix up a group of emos??

Suicide squad

What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?

An avalanche

When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy. But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)

I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.

The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

Coach said to himself, “I got to have this guy. He’s got the best arm I’ve ever seen!”

He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

“Mother,” he yells over the phone, “We just won the Super Bowl!”

“Don’t talk to me,” the woman says. “You abandoned us. You can’t be my son.”

The young Iraqi begs, “Mom, you don’t understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!”

“I don’t care,” his mother snaps. “Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped.”

Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.

There is a feminist group in my town

It is called Gal-qaeda

(I actually got this from the simpsons, so credit to the show)

You no your ugly when you git handed the cameras every time your frind’s have a group picture.

A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones

A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit

Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being load and shouting about all the woman they have in port that had given them gonorrhea… Bloody Seamen.

4 cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the 4 Cs Quartet since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine. They discovered how they could win. After a discussion they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.

I joined the military for the group showers

Q:Why did the first Koala Fall off the tree A: Because it was dead Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too. Q:Why did the third Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down Q:Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree A: It was tied to the fifth koala Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree A: Peer group pressure

One day, there are Friends having fun, hours later one of the friends Alice, wanted to leave and say cya guys am just gonna hangin in the tree and have some fresh air and they all agree hours go by and the group of friends are ready to go home but then seen a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.

Loading...