Feline jokes
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
I was reading a book about an immortal cat the other day; it was impossible to put down.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
Have a cat pic
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
What would you call a cat royal’s descendants?
A feline.