What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip off.
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!". And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated you arms."
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident
An amputation
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says "I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies "I have had to amputate both your legs" so the patent says "Well what is the good news?" the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers".................
I'm stumped
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs. One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." T he woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
I have no legs
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
i have a vest. if i cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
Why did sally fall off the swing? ́why’ cus she had no arms Why did sally drop a broom? ́why’ cus she had no arms Why did sally go swimming? she didn’t like not having arms Knock knock ́who’s there ́ Not sally, she hasn’t come back yet
Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.
Why couldn't sally open the fridge
Because she had no arms
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations he says, "Thank you for your donation!"
pirate
A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.
The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.
The man then got plastic prosthetics.
Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.
After much examination the doctor found that the patients pants were shedding color.
a women wakes up in a hospital after a accident and yells "doctor doctor i cant feel my legs" and the doctor say "i know i amputated your arms"
