When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"
what’s dudeese
dudeese nuts fit in ya mouth lmao gottem
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
What did President Ford say when he met Betty?
"I am Gerald Ford and you’re hot."
This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They’re draining the economy doooown!
They’ve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jack’s seed.
They’ve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
They’re spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
They’ve banked off buying boooze!
They’ll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kids’re in the business tooo!
They’re draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!
WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
Know the nuclear bombs of the world.
🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb
🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”
🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb
🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing
🇮🇱🧨 what bomb
🇮🇷🧨 just self defence
What do you call a white guy who can actually dance? Jewish.
I’m so straight, you could call me a supplementary angle.
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to mars holy fucking shit
“no towers? :(“ no queen? :(
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!