Wordplay jokes
Someone lunged at me, armed with an unregistered nurse. I hit the floor.
What do you call a talentless Korean person? Us Lee Less!
I went to help an amputated girl, but she didn't have a hand for me to grab.
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
Why was the tamale in the hospital? Because he was a "tamalito."
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?
Hamburg-ER.
My favorite instrument? The TromBONE, of course.
What kind of bike do women ride?
A menstrual cycle.
What do you call a smart booty?
A wise-crack!
Say "urine egger" five times fast.
What is Ba + 2Na?
Ans. Banana.
Hey, cobalt can't. But tin can ;)
What do you call a fish that has a dick?
Moby Dickkkkk!
What's your favorite Fortnite location? Mine is Tilted Toers. 😂
What do you call a skeleton's erection?
A boner.
Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡
Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐
Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬
Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱
Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*
Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤
Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨
Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠
Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤
Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮
Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫
Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕
Puns, that's how I roll.
Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.