Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?
Well, probably their kneecaps.
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:
Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?
So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide
Me: Aren't they the same thing?
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
Imagine if this got over 69 likes! Wow! 🤩 🇫🇷
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.
Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
