What are intelligent people in the US called??
"Tourist".
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.
Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
Yo mama so stupid she studied for a COVID-19 test.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
