Taste Jokes

Anonymous
in Cannibal

People are like potatoes.

We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.

The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It’s a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. “Impressive,” said the manager.

The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.”

The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. “It’s a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don’t get this job, I’ll tell who the father is!”

Anonymous

At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. “She must have COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. “Cuz she clearly has no taste.” She responded.

sgt.spazit

why dont cannibals eat clowns

because they taste funny

1
Anonymous
in Politics

Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

0
Z
in Roast
  1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

  2. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.

  3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

7
Brodie

What’s wrong with a gay bbq?

All the hotdogs taste like shit

2
Anonymous

Daughter: Mommy?

Mom: Hey

Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make sour patch kids?

Mom: They don’t use kids to make sour patch kids

Daughter: Oh that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny…

Anonymous

I’ll never forget how my grandmother died. “this lemonade tastes like bleach…”

wetnightmare

My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help mean understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So me with my horrible humor decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, “Here you are a fine African meal.” then everybody looked at me in disappointment and then I continued to say, “what poor taste?”

8
Anonymous Jail Mom In TX

wo tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”

Jon

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”

6
Anonymous
in Doctor

What’s the difference between an anal and oral thermometer? The taste.

Anonymous

you

Pistacio
in Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you’ve ever tasted.

1
Sans

Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out.

0
DMack

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

“Wait a minute” I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen

Then it clicked. “Ah, so that’s how you died”

0
Anonymous

How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad’s c–k tastes like s–t!

Alan Horn

How did the Hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her sons dick tasted funny.

3
in Little Johnny

So little Susie came home and said “mom little johnny show me his pecker”. And her mom said WHAT?! And little Susie was like yea it reminded me of a peanut, her mom said oh because it was so small. Susie said no because it tasted salty.