An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator not a lift" and "it's chips not crisps" etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted "they're schools, not shooting ranges".
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
I don't like to use the word kidnapping. So I just use the term: surprise adoption
19. It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. he said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"...
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
A German went to France for a holiday and here is the scene. French border staff asked, "Occupation?" The German replied, "No, no, no, just visiting."
Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say black paint anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall"
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? Smiles because there is a mile between the first letter and the last
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread em?
English is weird. -- It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
I have sexdaily, I mean dyslexia, fcuk
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? -- A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says” alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here” his mom comes rushing in and says” little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!” After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says,” ok, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in be kitchen”
I'm friends with only 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y.
be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means there recording.
All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friends grandpa is in the house
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war
It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure
