An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator not a lift" and "it's chips not crisps" etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted "they're schools, not shooting ranges".
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
I don't like to use the word kidnapping. So I just use the term: surprise adoption
19. It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. he said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"...
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
A German went to France for a holiday and here is the scene. French border staff asked, "Occupation?" The German replied, "No, no, no, just visiting."
Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say black paint anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall"
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? Smiles because there is a mile between the first letter and the last
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread em?
English is weird. -- It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
I have sexdaily, I mean dyslexia, fcuk
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? -- A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German.
I'm friends with only 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friends grandpa is in the house
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war
be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means there recording.
I was talking to my welsh friend the other day and he suddenly started talking welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke
What’s the German word for BRA? Keeptwofromfloppin.
And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up and I'll see you on Monday
