Wordplay jokes
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.
On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
What do you call an @EB with no ears?
An Explain B.
What do you call a cold Explain bear?
A brrr.
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.