Wordplay jokes

Why is 10 always afraid?

Because it is between 9 and 11.

If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.

Six one.

There are some questionable candies out there, such as:

"All I want is a good Blow Pop."

"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."

"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."

"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."

"Or adopt Three Musketeers."

"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."

What is a woman's name with one leg?

Eileen.

Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?

A: They exorcise.

I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.

Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡

Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐

Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬

Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱

Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*

Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤

Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨

Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠

Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤

Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮

Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫

Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.

What kind of bike do women ride?

A menstrual cycle.

What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.

What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?

They know how to get a beat down.

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.

How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.

What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.

What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.