Wordplay jokes

Michael Jackson

What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.

Twin Towers

Why is 10 afraid?

Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.

Australian

American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"

Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."

Adoption

Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.

Special needs

My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

Swearing

What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.

Suicide

How do pigs kill themselves?

They commit Kermit-cide.