Wordplay jokes
What is a woman's name with one leg?
Eileen.
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.
I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.
Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡
Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐
Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬
Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱
Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*
Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤
Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨
Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠
Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤
Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮
Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫
Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
What kind of bike do women ride?
A menstrual cycle.
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.