Wordplay jokes

What is a woman's name with one leg?

Eileen.

Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?

A: They exorcise.

I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.

Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡

Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐

Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬

Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱

Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*

Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤

Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨

Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠

Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤

Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮

Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫

Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.

What kind of bike do women ride?

A menstrual cycle.

What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.

What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?

They know how to get a beat down.

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.

How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.

What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.

What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.

Why is 10 afraid?

Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.

If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?

American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"

Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."

Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.