Violence jokes
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.
I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
Bored? Beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
I slit my wrists.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
What do rapists like to suck?
The life out of their victim.
If you're bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.