You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
What's black and white and red all over?
A massacre at a funeral.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?
The feather.
The rope stopped the kid.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.
Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.
I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.
A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.
A quiet kid brings an MP5.
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
Roses are red, peanuts are tan. I am joining the Ku Klux Klan.
How many children does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got excited and asked if I could drive a plane.
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
