Grandpa Jokes

My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.

I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn"

Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were "You're standing on my oxygen tube"

I will always remember my grandpa's last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that." Then I unplugged his life support.

I was at school when i remembered i forgot my necklace then i screamed out, "SHIT I FORGOT GRANDPA."

My grandma said, hey you want a butter finger cause I do. Me:grandpas in the kitchen if you want a finger.

My mother was so sad after my grandpas death she went into the bathroom with my uncle and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on saying that she was pregnant.

a little girl said one day " grandmas gonna die tonight". the next morning the girl's grandmother's body was found. that day she said again " Grandpas gonna die tonight" sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning. that day she said " daddy's gonna die tonight." the girls father was terrified. he lay shaking the entire night. somehow, he survived until morning. his wife came into the room crying. he asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.

We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.

my grandfather has the heart of a lion!!🦁

in a jar on his desk along with a lifetime ban from the zoo.....