Killer jokes
I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.
But no one would do it.
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Where does the killer whale go to get its teeth done?
The orca Don-tist.
Just.
Old.
Killer.
Epigrams.
In the morning, I become a cereal killer.
I bought a new camera once. Every shot I took was killer!
I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dumplin.
Dumplin who?
Dumplin the killer.
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
Nobody:
JFK: :) Hi guys!
JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
A killer gone up to 5 people and killed 4 of them. There were 2 couples and 1 third wheel. The 5th one was left single out...
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
New horror movie idea.
The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
There are painkillers, but they only relieve physical pain. I wish something could relieve my internal pain.