Killer Jokes

I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.

But no one would do it.

The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.

Where does the killer whale go to get its teeth done?

The orca Don-tist.

In the morning, I become a cereal killer.

There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"

Dude,

if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?

I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.

I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.

What does a serial killer make for breakfast?

Scrambled legs and toes.

A killer gone up to 5 people and killed 4 of them. There were 2 couples and 1 third wheel. The 5th one was left single out...

Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.

Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.

Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.

Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...

What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

“They both blow heads.”

I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.

"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"

The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?

A mass murderer.