Killer

Killer Jokes

Year

I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.

But no one would do it.

Cop

The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.

  • 2
  • Teeth

    Where does the killer whale go to get its teeth done?

    The orca Don-tist.

    Rapper

    There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"

    People

    A killer gone up to 5 people and killed 4 of them. There were 2 couples and 1 third wheel. The 5th one was left single out...

    Hitler

    Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.

    Murder

    Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.

  • 3
  • Head

    What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

    “They both blow heads.”

    Rapist

    The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.

    Kid

    Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

    Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

    A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

    What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

    What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.