What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.
I'm a rapist.
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Commander: "Fire a warning shot."
Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."
Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."
Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*
Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?
