Violence jokes

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

One if you throw it hard enough.

When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"

The bartender replied: "A shotgun."

If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?

Where do suicide bombers go after death?

Everywhere.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.

What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...

I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

How do you blow up an Indian person?

You press the red button.

In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.

School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2

-Harpoon it.

What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?

"This isn't ketchup."

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."