Violence jokes
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?
Where do suicide bombers go after death?
Everywhere.
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?
Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?