Violence Jokes

School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2

-Harpoon it.

How do you blow up an Indian person?

You press the red button.

Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.

A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."

The image is a four-panel comic. In the first panel, one stick figure is yelling at another stick figure, “BILLY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” In the second panel, the stick figure, now identified as Billy, is looking down at a small, bloody character. There is a speech bubble that says, “She likes me as a friend, but I still have hope.” In the third panel, a stick figure is holding a club with a speech bubble that says, “End his suffering.”

What's a school shooter's favorite flower?

Columbine.

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

How many fingers am I holding up?

Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.

If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all. Heck, cheer on the rapist, or join in the fun.

There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.

I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.