Violence jokes

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"

The bartender replied: "A shotgun."

Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.

My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...

When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.

I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣

What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

One if you throw it hard enough.

How do you blow up an Indian person?

You press the red button.

In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.

School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2

-Harpoon it.

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."

when is it normal to freeze before being raped?

when a policeman rapes you.

How many fingers am I holding up?

Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.

If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all. Heck, cheer on the rapist, or join in the fun.

I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.