Violence jokes

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

One if you throw it hard enough.

When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"

The bartender replied: "A shotgun."

If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?

Where do suicide bombers go after death?

Everywhere.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.

What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...

I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

How do you blow up an Indian person?

You press the red button.

In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.

School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?

"This isn't ketchup."

How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2

-Harpoon it.

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?