Violence jokes
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?
Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all. Heck, cheer on the rapist, or join in the fun.
I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.
Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.