Apple Jokes

in Depression

what do depressed people and Apple's have in common?

they both hang from trees


What do emos and apples have in common?

They both hang on trees.

in Computer

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.


An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?

The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope


What's the difference between apple's and orphans apples actually get picked

I made a website for orphans but sadly it didn't have a home page.

in Orphan

what is the difference between a orphan and a apple. the apple gets picked

sell farm
in Self Harm

what's the difference between a grape, apple and an arm?

you don't slice a grape

in Orphanage

What is the difference between an orphan and a apple?

Well at least one gets picked

in Little Johnny

little johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it and it said take 1 god is watching. He continues walking and sees a bowl of cookies that said take 1 please so little johnny made his own note and he wrote take as many cookies as you want god is watching the apples

in Depression

what does an apple and a lawyer have in common?

they both look good hanging from a tree

in Puns

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

in Depression

What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The Apple falls from the tree

in Blonde

Why did the blondie put her ipad in the blender: to make apple juice.

in Orphan

whats the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked

in Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.


A is for apple, B is for dyslexia- oh wait no! That’s d!

in Orphan

what's the difference between an orphan and an apple? an apple gets picked


Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion". The first guy came back with 10 apples and by the second one he started to grunt so he was killed and eaten. The second one came back with cherries and when he went to put the 10th one in he started to laugh so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven and the first guy said" dude you were so close what happened?" The second one said" I would have made it but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!"😝😝🤣🤣


What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.

Midget Widget
in Puns

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.