Apple jokes
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
What do emos and apples have in common?
They both hang on trees.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
A is for apple, B is for dyslexia—oh wait, no! That’s D!
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.
"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.
3 Years Later,
"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.