Lunch Jokes

Sandwich

Anonymous
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3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”

6

Little Johnny

chazz
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little johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it and it said take 1 god is watching. He continues walking and sees a bowl of cookies that said take 1 please so little johnny made his own note and he wrote take as many cookies as you want god is watching the apples

Finger

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Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J," Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter " go bye your self something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice," they both look at craig as he pulls out a letter. craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THER BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throughs down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"

Old

Let girls live
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What did the plate say to the other plate ?? Lunch is on me😂😂

Skip

Anonymous
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why did two fours skip lunch they alreddy 8

Puns

Anonymous
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When do astronauts eat lunch?

At launch time.

Puns

Anonymous
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The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrort-all.

Little Johnny

uh no
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Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

Soup

Daniel King
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What did the duck eat for lunch?

Soup and quackers.🦆🍲😋😂

Favorite

jonathan
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whati s a pup's favorite pizza puperoni

Breakfast

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What 2 things can you never have for breakfast??

Lunch and Dinner!!!

Chocolate

Stephen Maltona
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My "choco" is too "late" for lunch.

Adoption

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A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew tumed up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5.year.old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and ll spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. 'mey chatted with her, let her slt with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little lobs to do here and there to make her feel Important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a poy envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $1 0 'pay ' to the bank the next day to start a savings account When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally Impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, 'l worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.' 'Oh, my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will you be working on the house again this week, too?' The little girl replied, 'l will, it those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the tucking sheet rock '

Desert

Anonymous
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3 men where in a desert 1 man was holding a jug the 2nd was holding a paper bag and the last was holding a car door a man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug he said it was his water and if he got thirsty he would take a drink. Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag the guy said this is my packed lunch so if I get hungry I will eat my lunch. Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said it he got hot he would roll down the window.

Wife

Ha
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Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the reciepe?

In a detective novel.

Cuphead

Cuphead
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WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?

Kid

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One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

Bullying

Dude from Calumet
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A kid named billy get his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money and his wallet taken by his father. The father then gets all the money taken from his by the bully’s grandfather along with is own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by billy along with his own wallet.