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My “overweight” friend and me were talking at lunch.

Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly dude?

Me: annoyedJason when you stepped on the scale this morning it asked for you’re weight not you’re phone number.

( Guy 1: Why my cat’s so angry ? ) ( Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage ) ( Guy 1: Don’t you ? ) ( Guy 2: Yeah it seems delicious ) ( Guy 1: Mmm so … w-wait what are you doing ? I didn’t think you mean the one in my lunch :< where are you leaving ## ) Meow … ( Guy 1: Shut up i will never feed you this sausage it’s not for you :< -- </3 )

The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn’t carrort-all.

Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today. She responded with a list: -take out the trash -clean your room -Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets. That’s all sweetie! Explain= You can’t butter a electrical socket

three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate cause it’s lunch time the guys ask the man to do a favor and he says sorry guys I have a lot on my plate!

I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might DRUM up and appetite

What did the plate say to the other plate ?? Lunch is on me😂😂

What is Stephen hawking favorite lunch-eggs and shoulders.

wyatt is a guy who still doesn’t have a girlfriend because he didnt sit with yanely and jasmine at lunch. funny joke huh

What does Stephen hawking eat for his breakfast lunch and dinner

His shoulder

What do you call it when you’re trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation.