Circle Jokes

This is really mean...

A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."

What's the difference between cake and pie?

πr2, cakes are round.

How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?

What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?

Circumference.

Why do orphans like boomerangs?

They actually come back.

What's big, round, and can't move?

A vegetable!

You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.

Using Pi, distract that fat kid next to you and copy his answers.

What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?

A cypher circle.

What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?

They both have red circles on their bodies.

I met a drum circle once, they were a huge hit!

Why do planets circle the sun?

'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.

Why is a circle gay?

It's not straight.

You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.

Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"

Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."

A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.

Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"

After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."

You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?

Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.