I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike I just collect body parts
The Jokester
Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J," Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter " go bye your self something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice," they both look at craig as he pulls out a letter. craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THER BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throughs down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"
Bro yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this: *error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance* Anyone know what bird that is?
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out. It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001, I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
Why did all the numbers mourn 10. Because he was in the middle of 9,11
when does a joke become a dad joke. When it becomes apparent
2 men ran into a bar, you would have thought after the first one hit it the second one would have seen it