Violence jokes
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
How hard can you throw them!
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!
If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?
Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!
Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*
Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.
Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 7 feet?
The finish line at the marathon bombing.
Philza: PUT THE ORPHAN DOWN TECHNOBLADE- NO DON-
Technoblade: R.I.P orphan
If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?