Violence jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"
Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."
The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."
The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"
I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
35! Do you have a problem with that?
There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.
A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
What's the same with a controller and a woman?
They both work if you hit them.
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
"Kill yourself."
"Kill me yourself, pussy."
Why did the terrorist not get paid, but they loved their job?
They di2s drying plans.
Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!
They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"