Violence

Violence Jokes

Suicide

I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.

Kid

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.

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  • Rape

    Why is rape worse than death?

    Because dead people get way more attention.

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  • Rape

    Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.

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  • Face

    Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.

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  • Police

    Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.

    Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.

    Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.

    Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.

    Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?

    Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.

    Police: ... Child: 😊

    Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*

    Baby

    What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?

    Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.

    Kid

    I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

    Sexual Assault

    A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

    Rape

    So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

    Shovel

    If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.

    Dump

    Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."

    Off the nearby cliff.

    Baby

    How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

    Sibling

    This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.

    I wonder where the bodies are?

    Bullet

    What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head?

    A bullet.

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