Violence jokes

Why is rape worse than death?

Because dead people get way more attention.

I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.

"Are you getting the knife?"

What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?

You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.

Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.

Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.

Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.

Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.

Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?

Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.

Police: ... Child: 😊

Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*

A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!

What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?

Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.

What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?

My dick.

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.

What’s an abbreviation for school in America?

Shooting range.

Jokes just as dead as the victims.

It's not rape if she doesn't say no.

Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.

Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."

Off the nearby cliff.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.

I wonder where the bodies are?

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.