Violence jokes

Where did Sally go after the gunshot?

6 feet under.

*That is how deep they put the coffin...*

Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.

You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."

...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"

The Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin; she was a prostitute. God raped her.

Me: What do you call a group of retards?

Friend: Down town?

Me: Nope, target practice.

Rape victims suck, literally.

How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

More than 9 because my basement's still dark.

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan.

What are they gonna tell their parents?

What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?

A baby with forks in its eyes.

What's black, white, and red all over?

A nun in a blender.

Sonic says, "Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!

What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝

If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?