Violence jokes
My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.
Sonic says, "Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
How many children does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What's big and yellow...?
A bus full of kids.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
Everywhere.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?
A clout chaser.
Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.