Decapitation jokes

Get a head in life by decapitating someone.

So, no head?

If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.

If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.

What do you call a decapitated politician?

A severed head of state.

What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

"Dinosaur killing with a 2x4, no more purple dinosaur!"

What do you call a pen with no head?

DeCAPitated.

Hi, I...

Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.

The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.

Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.

The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.

I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"

What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?

Panera Behead.

What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|

If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.

You also can't breathe if you die.

So why isn't it debreathiation?

What did the no head man say?

"Haha!"

If per capita is an issue, decapita can be arranged.

Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.

I think I'm being stalked.