Why do orphans go to church? Because they can finally call someone father

Why can’t skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.

There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead.

Matt, “Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife”

Priest, “how so?”

Matt, “We were together naked, but we didn’t do anything just rubbed each other, that’s all”

Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box"

Matt, “okay i promise not to see her again”

Then Matt walks out the door

Priest, “Hey I saw you! you didn’t put any money in the donation box!!”

Matt, “Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in”

Why do orphans go to church? So they have someone to call father

why dose a orphan love to go to church because they have someone to call father

The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!

You’d think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “fuck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time

what do you call a burning church?

Holy Smokes

Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“FUCK THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.

What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest

Why aren’t there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.

Why was there a box in a church because their was a funeral

Going to church, you don’t think, you are Christian. Sleeping with ten men, You don’t think, you are straight.

Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.

I always hated being born a catholic as a kid, the way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church, I was always thinking “for God’s sake just pick a position and fuck me”

Why do orphans go to church so much?

So they can have someone to call father