A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f... the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time

The worst part about church is that you’re constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can’t the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!

I always hated being born a catholic as a kid, the way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church, I was always thinking “for God’s sake just pick a position and f... me”

Why can’t skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.

Why aren’t there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.

what do you call a burning church?

Holy Smokes

What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest

What pants do you wear to church… HOLE-Y ONESS

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

Confusios Ssay “man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew”

Who would win? The laws of the catholic church which have been affective for over 900 years

one horny henry

What happened to the eight year old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church? The priest stopped him on the way there

Why did the child cross the road? To get to the church. Knock-Knock. Who’s there? The Priest… Lets go to my office, because I’m totally not a pedophile.

What kind of jeans do you were to church? - Holy jeans

A little boy went to church… the priest said get in the following positions… stand then kneel then bow… the little boy replies… can u hurry up and f... me already

Two TV antennas got married. The church ceremony was terrible, but the reception was fantastic!

A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ. "My headphones are broken, Lord… I’m desperate… What should I do? Guide me!!" And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man’s soul. WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS And so he did.

The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop

I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

How do you make holy water?

You take it to church ⛪️

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