Church jokes
If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
What's the difference between a casino and a church?
You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.
Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.
How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?
Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?
Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."
But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?
Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What’s the opposite of an exorcism?
It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?
If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
What is a priest's favorite song?
-- Magic Flute in A minor.
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.