Church

Church Jokes

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says "what about the children" the rabbi says "fuck the children" and the Priest says "do you think we'll have time

7

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? a prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to received

What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS? If you stop giving money to a church you won't go to prison

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? you don't get something in return if you give money to a church

Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?" Father:"FUCK THE CHILDREN" Preist:" Do you think we'll have time?"

When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead.

Matt, "Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife"

Priest, "how so?"

Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything just rubbed each other, that's all"

Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box"

Matt, "okay i promise not to see her again"

Then Matt walks out the door

Priest, "Hey I saw you! you didn't put any money in the donation box!!"

Matt, "Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in"