By using this site, you agree to its use of cookies. Read more

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”

Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words.

His response was “Ho ho ho”

What was Steven Hawking’s last words?

The windows xp log out sound

Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”

I invented a new word today.

Plagiarism

I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn”

Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

“What does the word ‘gay’ mean?” asked a son his father.

“It means ‘happy’,” replied the father.

“Oh,” contested the son, “so you are gay then?”

“No, son, I have a wife.”

Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a pedophile. I told her, “PEDOPHILE? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”

What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found

the word ginger is just the n word reorganized

I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

One day I came home from school and said to my dad ‘I got expelled from school today’ he said ’ how’ I said I threw my book at the teacher’ he asked why’ I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can’t hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. ’

Famous last words:

“Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”

My friend asked me to describe myself in 3 words…

“Lazy.”

Russian history in 5 words: “And then things got worse.”

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.