Violence jokes

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

The boy was clapping, then he became clapped.

Please don't get mad, it's a joke.

What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?

"That is bull crap!"

How do you kill a retard?

Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"

Why are Americans so good at shooting?

We have the best schools for it.

My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.

What do you call a terrorist swimming?

A bath bomb!

What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?

You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.

What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?

Bathbomb.

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.

"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"

What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.

If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?

The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.