Violence jokes

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.

You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make a noise when you throw them.

Hello, anybody, I've just shot somebody. I did it on purpose.

You just shot an unarmed man.

Well, he should have armed himself then.

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

How it be when the new guy takes too long...

Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.

In my basement.

If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."

What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I saw your mom beat you.

If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?

Answer: Putin, put out!

What is white, then red, and is very fast?

My chainsaw blade.

You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!

Dad: Uh...

*hides his rifle*

"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

The boy was clapping, then he became clapped.