Tool jokes
What is the difference between a feminist and a knife?
A knife at least has a point.
What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?
"You broke the beat!"
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.
Why did the hip-hop artist always carry a pencil?
For those FREESTYLE DRAFTS!
Memes
Bang-Bang
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.
Balls maker.
Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?
A: With a blender!
Q: How do you take them out?
A: With Doritos!
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
This joke is like a vacuum cleaner... it sucks.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"
I remember my grandfather's last words:
"Are you holding the ladder?"
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the studio?
Because he was digging for those UNDERGROUND BEATS!
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a nail?
Answer: You can unscrew the nail.