Tool jokes
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school.
What do robots 🤖 shave with?
Laser blades!
What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the studio?
Because he was digging for those UNDERGROUND BEATS!
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
Why are dildos like a ratcheting wrench? They both make lots of noise and get their job done.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Balls maker.
Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
I remember my grandfather's last words:
"Are you holding the ladder?"
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?
A: With a blender!
Q: How do you take them out?
A: With Doritos!
This joke is like a vacuum cleaner... it sucks.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"
What do you get when you cross a blonde chick and a garden tool?
A dumbass hoe.