What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
Why did the guy bring a rope to the party?
Because he wanted to hang out... permanently. šš
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them itās a hairdryer.
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.