Tool

Tool Jokes

Difference

What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?

One is a tool. The other is your mom.

Rope

Why did the guy bring a rope to the party?

Because he wanted to hang out... permanently. šŸ’€šŸ˜ˆ

Ladder

My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

Crowbar

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

Guy

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

Pencil

Why did the hip-hop artist always carry a pencil?

For those FREESTYLE DRAFTS!

Rapper

Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the studio?

Because he was digging for those UNDERGROUND BEATS!

Rapper

What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?

"You broke the beat!"

Elephant

When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?

When it's not raining.

Knife

What's the difference between me and a knife?

One has a point, and the other doesn't.

Gun

How do you punish a blind person?

Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.

Dad

Why are most absent dads mechanics?

They like to nut and bolt.