Tool jokes
666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?
Do it in calculator.
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a jigsaw meant dancing with a saw!
Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? It's groundbreaking!
I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...
“Are you still holding the ladder??”
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school.
What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
What do robots 🤖 shave with?
Laser blades!
What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
What is the difference between a feminist and a knife?
A knife at least has a point.
What's the difference between me and a knife?
One has a point, and the other doesn't.
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.