Tool jokes

666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?

Do it in calculator.

My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a jigsaw meant dancing with a saw!

A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

A can’t opener!

Why do they call matches, matches?

They all look the same.

Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? It's groundbreaking!

I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...

“Are you still holding the ladder??”

What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?

They both have cutting marks.

What happened when a hammer punished the nail?

He hit him.

What is the difference between a feminist and a knife?

A knife at least has a point.

What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?

"You broke the beat!"

Why did the hip-hop artist always carry a pencil?

For those FREESTYLE DRAFTS!

I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.

You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.

What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.

What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?

... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.

What do robots 🤖 shave with?

Laser blades!

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

Because he wanted to go to high school.