Tool jokes
666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?
Do it in calculator.
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a jigsaw meant dancing with a saw!
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? It's groundbreaking!
I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...
“Are you still holding the ladder??”
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.
What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?
"You broke the beat!"
I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.
Why did the hip-hop artist always carry a pencil?
For those FREESTYLE DRAFTS!
What's the difference between me and a knife?
One has a point, and the other doesn't.
What happened when a hammer punished the nail?
He hit him.
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
What is the difference between a feminist and a knife?
A knife at least has a point.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school.
What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.