Tool jokes
What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?
A knife has a point.
666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?
Do it in calculator.
My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
Memes
It could be if you believe
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a jigsaw meant dancing with a saw!
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? It's groundbreaking!
I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...
“Are you still holding the ladder??”
What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school.
What do robots 🤖 shave with?
Laser blades!
What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
What happened when a hammer punished the nail?
He hit him.
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
What's the difference between me and a knife?
One has a point, and the other doesn't.
I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.