As I was eating this girl out I thought I tasted some horse semen... I exclaimed "oh Grandma! That's how you died
Mail man tom
What's the most difficult about being a paediatric surgeon?
Keeping the scalpel steady while masturbating.
Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life
What's 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.
What is a redneck virgin? A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A pedophile
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None,they just sit in the dark and bitch
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altarboy.
19_What's the difference between a woman and a freezer? Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool? Flip it upside-down
What is a pedophiles favorite part about Halloween? Free delivery
How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
_How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon. 7_What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
U die from robot bite
What do you call a five year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor.