Tool jokes
Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?
A: With a blender!
Q: How do you take them out?
A: With Doritos!
Why are dildos like a ratcheting wrench? They both make lots of noise and get their job done.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
What do robots 🤖 shave with?
Laser blades!
What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
Jackhammer McQueerson
A jumping cable walked into a bar and the bartender said,
"I will serve you, but don't start anything!"
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"
This joke is like a vacuum cleaner... it sucks.
I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.
How do you fit 53 babies into a box?
First get a blender...
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
I have a match!
My ass, your face.
What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?
What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.
I remember my grandfather's last words:
"Are you holding the ladder?"