Drill jokes

What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?

A pedophile.

Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.

Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.

You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.

But I also think I screwed it up.

I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.

How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?

She was too used to grabbing the tip.

What's the difference between a drill and a priest?

Nothing, they both like screwing stuff!

Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?

He got caught playing with his Privates!

What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.

I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.

About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."

I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."

Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.

Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Please like this. I bet my friend 20 bucks that I would get to 15 likes before him.

"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."

"Why not?"

"He keeps peeing in the pool."

"Well, all kids pee in the pool."

"Not from the diving board!"

Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.