Vacuum Cleaner jokes
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner? You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
This joke is like a vacuum cleaner... it sucks.
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
If you're cleaning a vacuum, aren't you the vacuum cleaner?
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
There was a cleaning lady with a vacuum cleaner. She sucked!
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
Community talk
A black hole is a region in space where gravity is so strong that nothing, not even light, can escape from it, usually forming when a massive star collapses under its own gravity at the end of its life. The boundary around it is called the event horizon, and once anything crosses this boundary, it cannot return. Black holes are mainly described by their mass, spin, and electric charge, and they come in several types,… Read more
Do not put your penis in a vacuum cleaner. Please do not insert your penis into a vacuum cleaner.
For starters, the vacuum cleaner might be dirty. It's likely that there might be dirt, dust, and bacteria that could cause an infection if they come into contact with sensitive tissues.
The vacuum cleaner is also dry. The penis is meant to be moist, and a vacuum cleaner with high suction power could chafe some of the d… Read more