Time jokes
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: π€¬
Time for a Terraria joke.
What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?
A gold digger.
(play the game or watch some vids to understand)
Have a good summer!
Type this in your calculator:
5 days a week (type in 5),
6 different classes (type in 6),
7 hours a day (type in 7),
x
2 semesters (type in 2),
=
flip the calculator over ( Ν‘~ ΝΚ Ν‘Β°).
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
What time is it when it gets dark out?
Bed time.
I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. π It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but Iβm going to be at the car π when Iβm at my car. π What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
Why did the clock out the library?
It tocked too much!
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.
A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.
"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"
"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.
"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"
"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.
"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."