Time jokes
What time is it when you say "what?"
Time to start over!
What month has 28 days?
All of them.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
My grandpa and your hairline go way back.
I would have loved to ride the Titanic at least once ;)
iykyk
What do Karens do when they have free time?
They do KARENoke and sing a Karen song.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"
....yes, it is "long time no see."
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.