Memory jokes

My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

A stab wound.

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

9/11.

9/11 who?

You said that you would never forget!

1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?

Because it flew over their heads.

I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"

Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."

Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"

Patient: "What condition?"

What does a cow say when he remembers something?

"I have deja moo!"

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.

My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.

So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.

A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".

When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."