The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005
What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
a stab wound
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
Knock knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said that you would never forget
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"
My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.
I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
Patient: I'm starting to forget things Doctor: Since when have you had this condition? Patient: What condition?
when you go to a orphanage for a field trip :when the workers said i remember you as a kid
What does a cow say when he remembers something? "I have deja moo!"
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.
I get so many thing stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
me: do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
bank teller: [eyes wide] uhhhhh
me: *scratches head with gun* man, i hate it when this happens
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts... I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
dont worry stephen hawking isnt dead. they have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a usb.
