The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I havenβt seen either since 2005.
What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
A stab wound.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said that you would never forget!
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, youβre talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because itβs always in your mouth.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
Why couldnβt most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"
Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."
Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"
Patient: "What condition?"
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.
My mom died when we couldnβt remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to βbe positive,β but itβs hard without her.
I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.
I couldnβt quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: π.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: π³πΆπ.
My depression: π don't worry I'll always be here for you.
