Memory jokes
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
A stab wound.
If you laugh your a legend <3 have a downy day
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."
Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"
Patient: "What condition?"
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said that you would never forget!
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?
A. I forget.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
I have the superpower to predict the past.
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
Why is September 11th the best birthday? Because no one ever forgets it!
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11? Because it flew over their heads.
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.