The 90+ Best Soccer Jokes

What's Al Quieda's favorite footbal team?

New York Jets

What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.

Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?

Every corner they get the open a shop on it!

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.

What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?

The New York Jets

What’s Mexico’s favourite sport? Cross Country

hell hates freezers and Englnd and soccer

I was playing football with my friends and i got tackled and got a penalty suddenly the ground started shaking and penaldo emerged from the mud and he till the penalty but since it wasn’t andorra he missed. Shame on you penaldo!

Why are Indians so good at football? Each time they get a corner they open a shop.

I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair. We started playing rocket league

Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo

Last week I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a BALL. I wondered where it came from but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you Penaldo for almost killing me!

Did you hear the score in the Eqypt vs Ethiopia football game? Eqypt 8, Ethiopia didn't

Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?

Because they are really good at saving.

Why didn't the boy like his christmas presents, hint: they were a soccer, bicycle, and running shoes?

whats the same about a newborn and a football? you can kick them both very easily.

Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!