Soccer jokes
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with David Beckham?
They both dribble.
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.
Why can’t an orphan play soccer?
If he can’t find home, he can’t find goal.
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
Who is an orphan's favorite soccer player?
Been fostered.
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
Why can't a girl with no legs play soccer? Because she's a girl.
We gave Erik ten Hag 7-Up after Liverpool thrashed Man Utd 7-0. He said, "F**k you all!"
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
Why don't orphans play football?
They can't find home.
MISSING!! MISSING!! 🚨
Name-pionel PESSI Missing: 09/03/2021 vs Madrid Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty"
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, St etienne
Last seen- Alaba’s Pocket
⚠️ ⚠️: don’t walk around with pens
Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)
I have no puns because I don't play soccer.