Soccer jokes
Why can’t an orphan play soccer?
If he can’t find home, he can’t find goal.
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.
Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"
What is a sheep's favorite soccer player? Paul Pogbaaa.
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.
Timo Werner is the best striker in the world.
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with David Beckham?
They both dribble.
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.