Schedule Jokes

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.

Do your buses run on time?

No, they run on diesel.

So true tho ☠️😂🤣

The image shows a Kermit the Frog plush sitting on a white surface. Above Kermit, there is a text saying "Me: I'll do it at 8", "Time: 8.05", and "Me: looks like I gotta wait till 9 now".

Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

I asked the gym instructor,

"Can you teach me to do the splits?"

"How flexible are you?" he asked.

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

Why was the asian late to class?

His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.

I believe in a woman's right to choose...

...whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.

Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?

Yoda was in charge of scheduling.

What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.

An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.