The 30+ Best Schedule Jokes

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.

I've just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, 'Well I have good news and bad news.' The woman says, 'I'll hear the good news first please.' The doctor replies 'The good news is we're naming a disease after you!'

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? -- He took a day off.

Do your buses run on time? No, they run on diesel.

Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We’d like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

I believe in a woman's right to choose... ... whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.

Why did the starwars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? In charge of scheduling, Yoda was.

An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where shall he go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the secretary, “Where is home room?” The secretary then said which home room number did it say and it showed 1. The orphan then starting to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.