Country Jokes


Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.

in Iran

what is the fastest country?iran


What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country.


Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”


what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back


why does mexico never hold the Olympics? because everyone that can run jump and swim is already out the country

in Trump

Donald: If I lose this election, I will leave the country.

Joe: Bi den


What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.

in Bad

We’re skipping April fools day this year, the biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country

in Orphan

Old soviet joke. Who is your mother? Our great Soviet country. Who is your father? Our dear comrade Stalin. What's your greatest desire? Becoming an orphan.

Urge Burgl
in Puns

What country do French Fries come from? Grease.


Which country is next to USA? USB


Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.

Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.

Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.

American ran to dive,slipped,and said, "oh shit".


3 people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free".

Adoption Kid
in Adoption

My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."

in Animal

A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?

Roosters don't lay eggs.


The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily I already fled the country.

Amazing Person
in Keep

What song genre do the national anthems fit into? Country.




Stefen Hawking walked in a bar.....

Just kidding.