Country jokes
what is the fastest country? iran.
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
Which country is next to the USA? USB.
What country do French Fries come from? Grease.
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
Donald: "If I lose this election, I will leave the country."
Joe: "Bi den"
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?" Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
Old soviet joke.
"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d never play a country song backwards for you!
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
you.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to? Roosters don't lay eggs.