Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
why does mexico never hold the Olympics? because everyone that can run jump and swim is already out the country
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don’t lay eggs.
3 people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: “Local calls are free”.
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
What country do French Fries come from? Grease.
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled “vodka” and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled “beer” and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive,slipped,and said, “oh shit”.
The cops are still searching for my wife’s killer. Luckily I already fled the country.
Stefen Hawking walked in a bar…
what is the fastest country?iran
I’m American, and I’m sick of people saying America is “the stupidest country in the world.” – Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags „We have nuclear submarines which can stay under water for six weeks without having to resurface!“. Trump goes on „Six weeks? That’s nothing. I have the best submarines, they‘re underwater für at least three months!“. Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - „Heil Hitler! We need Diesel.“
You know the sport that Mexicans are good at? Cross-country
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a “two for one special.”
What’s a Mexican persons favorite spot?
in normal country they have lemonade in soviet russia they have Leninade “refresh yourself with a cold war.”
Which country is next to USA? USB