Time jokes

I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.

Yo momma is so old, her birthday's expired.

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."

Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?

Today is the day, time for more jokes!

I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀

Why can’t orphans learn about ancient times?

Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

Kiwi: she's here!!

2022

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"

One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.

Good Morning, Everyone! Have an amazing day!

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!

Dawn rises on the Serengeti, and she has no idea as to how she got there.

When is the last time you picked up the phone?

Why did the clock go out to the gazebo? To spend some time out.

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

Because they miss Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

Parent: Have you seen your sister?

Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.

The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.

Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."

Kid: 😭