Time jokes
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
Heβs just Biden his time.
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to spit BARS on time.
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
Life is better without my dad annoying me (him smacking me, screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more).
WJE officially a gone memory.
Memes
Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.
Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thingβs still printing.
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s.
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
Why was the rapper always on time?
Because they had a PHAT BEAT to keep them in check!
A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.
His wife was up waiting for him.
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.
He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
Man from 2001 just called. They want a tower back.
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Iβm tall when Iβm young, and Iβm short when Iβm old. What am I?
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
What's the only time a Pentagon has four sides? When a plane intercepts into it.