Time jokes
Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.
After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”
The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”
Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”
What's the difference between you and me?
I have a plan for this new year.
So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.
Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
Parent: Have you seen your sister?
Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣
Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient times?
Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Today is the day, time for more jokes!
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
Every time I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s.
Yo momma is so old, her birthday's expired.
"What time is it?"
"Daytime."
I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.
I poo 11 times a day.