Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
Mouse Jokes
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”
The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”
He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
How do computers get drunk?
They take a screenshot.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using the computer?
There is sperm on the computer screen.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu? Pikachu, I choose you!
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
What is a mouse's favorite movie?
"Sharpay's Fabu-mouse Adventure!"