Time jokes
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
Have a good summer!
What time is it when it gets dark out?
Bed time.
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
Why did the clock out the library?
It tocked too much!
I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.
I needn't have bothered.
The next day, it was smeared all over my face.
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
Good Morning! Have a Great Day!
#Ijustwokeup
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.