Time jokes
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
What time is it when it gets dark out?
Bed time.
I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.
I needn't have bothered.
The next day, it was smeared all over my face.
Good Morning! Have a Great Day!
#Ijustwokeup
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!