Time jokes

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?

Time to beet your maker.

I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.

What's the time?

How would I know?

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

What time is it when you say "what?"

Time to start over!

What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?

Time to get outside!

What month has 28 days?

All of them.

If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Windows didn’t update in time.

What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?

A blast from the past!

Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.

Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)

If 6 is afraid because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared?

Because it's in between 9/11.

Yo mama so old,

her memory is black and white.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍

Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?

Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...