Time jokes
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
Yo mama so old,
her memory is black and white.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "She was a little tardy."
I asked her, "I thought they all were."
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
If 6 is afraid because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared?
Because it's in between 9/11.
Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?
Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.
Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.
What's the time?
How would I know?
"Have fun at school night" is what?
Nothing lasts long these days!
As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.