Why Can’t orphans play baseball? They can go 1,2,3 but they can’t go home 🤣🤣
Person
I identify as Michael Jackson and my pronouns are he he
What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?
An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!
What’s a pedophiles favorite part of Halloween, Free Delivery.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream and a lot of root beer!
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
Confucius say, man who bite electric wire get shocking experience.
How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
What’s the difference between me and cancer? My dad didn’t beat cancer.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Never break someone’s heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
“Oh daddy,” the kid said. “I love you so much!” “Hey,” the man responded. “Until we get the DNA test results, I’m just Harry to you!”
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.