Shoes jokes
What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?
White vans.
How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.
What a school shooter's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.
Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:
Kleenex
Depends
Bicycle Helmet manufacturers
Velcro Shoe manufacturers
Steven Hawkings Publishers
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?