Shoes jokes

Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?

Because this teen just started her period!

My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."

I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.

How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?

A blender.

How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.

Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.

Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).

Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.

Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.

Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.

Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.

MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.

LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.

Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.

What did the shoes say to the pants?

"SUP, BRITCHES!"

What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?

Orthopediphilia.

What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?

I have to Pikashoe.

What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet, and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap?

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie one shoe.

What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?

A Christian.

Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:

Kleenex

Depends

Bicycle Helmet manufacturers

Velcro Shoe manufacturers

Steven Hawkings Publishers

1, 2 look at your shoes.

3, 4 they look better than yours.

5, 6 you have no friends.

7, 8 you look like a ape.

9, 10 don't you like men?

11, 12 hell naw I like females.

You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.

Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.