Shoes jokes
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn鈥檛 right.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it鈥檚 my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet, and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap?
What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?
I have to Pikashoe.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie one shoe.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
1, 2 look at your shoes.
3, 4 they look better than yours.
5, 6 you have no friends.
7, 8 you look like a ape.
9, 10 don't you like men?
11, 12 hell naw I like females.
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:
Kleenex
Depends
Bicycle Helmet manufacturers
Velcro Shoe manufacturers
Steven Hawkings Publishers
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
Bully: Oh, look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt, ay, ay, ay.
Me: Ding, ding, sing, oh, did you hear that? It's the elevator 'cause you're not on my level.
Bully: u_u ......
Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
Y鈥檃ll can actually see them at all, my toe.