Shoes jokes
What shoe size is Stephen Hawking?
It doesn't matter—he can't walk anyway.
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
I talk with a friend about something and there comes Quandangle, things with his shoes, and I'm just like, "Bro, what the heeeeel?"
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet, and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap?
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
What are an orphan's favorite shoes?
White Vans.
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie one shoe.
What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?
I have to Pikashoe.
If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."