Shoes jokes
Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite shoe?
Fuller House😂
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."
Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.
Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.
Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.
My life is like... the shoe rack-
What did the rapper say to his shoes?
"You better lace up!"
If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What is the difference between snow boots and snow boots and walk home?
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
What are an orphan's favorite shoes?
White Vans.
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they hate the taste of their stupid clown wigs, makeup, and retarded shoes.