My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

How do you stop a baby from drowning?

-Lift up your foot

Does your shoe have a hole in it

No

Then how did you put your foot in it

A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says “man, how’d you get such a short piano player.” The bartender says in response” there’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says “what just happened” the bartender replies “the genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12 inch pianist?”

How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13 foot deep pool.

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison? He’s a small medium at large.

Why did the leper fail his driving test? He left his foot on the clutch

IF a person walks off a hundred foot cliff and half way down screams why did I do that. Then a second person walks off the same one hundred foot cliff and screams the same verse “why did I do that,” then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line" why did I do that" and the next person the same thing. What do you call that? (Stupid People)

What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)

Three women- a blonde, a brunette and a redhead- are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two two hours later their vehicle dies with no gas and they’re forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them. The brunette brings canteens of water. The redhead takes a large beach umbrella. The Blonde somehow rips off the car door. The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?" To which the blonde replied, “So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot.”

Big foot is just a normal person who covered himself in pritt stick and went down on susan boyle

My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

A man ask to play kick the bucket ( not death). The other man agrees. They go to the top of Mt.Everest. The man who asked ties the bucket to the other ones foot. Then he kicks it off the cliff which brings the man with it. LOL

                                        THE END

How do you stop a baby from drowning, Take your foot off it’s head.

yo mamas so hot when she walked into subway she gave me a foot long

There was a guy I knew who owned a foot high piano player? He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish. The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf as all he got was a 12 pianist.

Knock Knock who’s there? Madam’ Madam’ who Madam’ foot got caught in the door can you please open it!

So about a year ago I was riding a horse and out of no where the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off I would have been OK but my foot got stuck in the stirrup the horse dragged me along and didn’t stop. I would have died if it weren’t for the Walmart manger who came out and unplugged the horse.

How do you make a baby float?

You take your foot off it’s head