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Puns

Flamingo

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

Man

(Optional)

A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says “man, how’d you get such a short piano player.” The bartender says in response” there’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says “what just happened” the bartender replies “the genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12 inch pianist?”

Puns

NUBTRUB

Does your shoe have a hole in it

No

Then how did you put your foot in it

Hammer

"Your name"

If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?

Puns

Anonymous

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison? He’s a small medium at large.

Girl

Anonymous

Three women- a blonde, a brunette and a redhead- are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two two hours later their vehicle dies with no gas and they’re forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them. The brunette brings canteens of water. The redhead takes a large beach umbrella. The Blonde somehow rips off the car door. The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?" To which the blonde replied, “So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot.”

Test

Anonymous

Why did the leper fail his driving test? He left his foot on the clutch

Stick

Anonymous

What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle.

A meter stick

Pool

Anonymous

How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13 foot deep pool.

Friend

Allan C.

Discuss the synopsis of this poem. My Friend Billy Has A Ten Foot Willy.

Toilet

Anonymous

Why did the cookie go to the hospital …because she was crummy what did the toilet say to the other toilet …you look flushed what has 1 head 1 foot and 4 legs …a bed

Baby

Daloolah

How do you stop a baby from drowning?

-Lift up your foot

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Sister

Anonymous

What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)

Nose

Anonymous

why was the indians telling the others to chop off their noses when they got close to 12 inches. Because then it would be a foot. lol i may have peed myself

Sister

Anonymous

Step on ur small sister foot she will always open her mouth like a dustbin

Floor

D......fickenkid

Mommy mommy, why do I keep running around in circles? Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor!

Nose

Randomizer

Why Cant You Nose Be Twelve Inches Because Then it Would Be A Foot

Wife

Anonymous

How do you save your wife from drowning?

Take your foot off of her neck.

Floor

Anonymous

Mommy mommy, why do I keep running around in circles? Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor!

Puns

Moose joke

What is the plural of goose geese what is the plural of foot feet what is The plural of moose well it ant meese

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