Puns

Flamingo

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

Man

(Optional)

A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says “man, how’d you get such a short piano player.” The bartender says in response” there’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says “what just happened” the bartender replies “the genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12 inch pianist?”

Deep

Anonymous

How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13 foot deep pool.

Puns

NUBTRUB

Does your shoe have a hole in it

No

Then how did you put your foot in it

Puns

Anonymous

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison? He’s a small medium at large.

Baby

Daloolah

How do you stop a baby from drowning?

-Lift up your foot

Die

Anonymous

Three women- a blonde, a brunette and a redhead- are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two two hours later their vehicle dies with no gas and they’re forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them. The brunette brings canteens of water. The redhead takes a large beach umbrella. The Blonde somehow rips off the car door. The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?" To which the blonde replied, “So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot.”

Test

Anonymous

Why did the leper fail his driving test? He left his foot on the clutch

Drop

"Your name"

If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?

Nose

Randomizer

Why Cant You Nose Be Twelve Inches Because Then it Would Be A Foot

Sister

ME

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot? Mitosis !!! (my-toe-sis)

Yo mama

hell nah bra

yo mamas so hot when she walked into subway she gave me a foot long

Stick

Anonymous

Big foot is just a normal person who covered himself in pritt stick and went down on susan boyle

DE

Arianna And Adriel

What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?

De-feeted (Defeated)

Puns

Anonymous

What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)

Number

foot lettuce

number 15 burger king foot lettuce the last thing you want in your Berger king Berger is someones foot fungus but as it turns out that might be what you get.

Astronaut

jess

If an athlete gets athletes foot… What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!

Door

Anonymous

Knock Knock who’s there? Madam’ Madam’ who Madam’ foot got caught in the door can you please open it!

Foot

qpwoeieulu

I think there will be many more jokes afoot! 👣

People

F'Star

IF a person walks off a hundred foot cliff and half way down screams why did I do that. Then a second person walks off the same one hundred foot cliff and screams the same verse “why did I do that,” then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line" why did I do that" and the next person the same thing. What do you call that? (Stupid People)

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