The 90+ Best Foot Jokes

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

Theres an outbreak of the foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.

I hope my teacher will be ok

Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?

Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it

Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?

What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison? He's a small medium at large.

Broke my toenail yesterday, I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:

1. "Yeah I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."

if the shoe fits perfectly why did it fall off

What's a foot fetishist's favorite food? Hot dogs.

why did the ball person go to the docter

He was kicked in the balls

Why did my foot cross the road?

Because your ass was on the other side.

What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle.

A meter stick

Does your shoe have a hole in it

Then how did you put your foot in it

Why did I trip over your foot ...? .... Because you were so short I couldn’t see you !

Me:how does this thing work? ForTnite kid: oh u don’t know how to use a pistol look I’ll show you ForTnitekid: shoots foot Me: that wasn’t a very good demonstration

A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says “man, how’d you get such a short piano player.” The bartender says in response” there’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says “what just happened” the bartender replies “the genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12 inch pianist?”